My Wake-Up Call
It was June 12th, 2018, in a stuffy conference room in Austin. I was sitting next to a guy named Marcus—let’s call him that, because honestly, I can’t remember his real name—and he told me something that stuck with me. “You know,” he said, “I haven’t been to church in three months.” I asked him why, and he just shrugged. “I dunno, man. It’s just… yeah.”
Which… yeah. Fair enough. I mean, I get it. Life’s busy, right? But here’s the thing: Marcus wasn’t some casual Catholic. He was a lector, for crying out loud. He used to read the Gospel every Sunday. And if he’s falling away, what’s happening to the rest of us?
And look, I’m not here to judge. I’ve had my own moments of doubt. But this isn’t just about Marcus or me. It’s about a quiet crisis happening in churches across the country. And nobody’s talking about it.
Numbers Don’t Lie (But They’re Ugly)
About three months ago, I was having coffee with a colleague named Dave. He showed me some stats from a survey his team conducted. 214 respondents, all self-identified Catholics. And get this: only 47% of them went to Mass every week. 47%. That’s less than half. And 23% said they rarely or never went to confession. Rarely or never. I mean, come on.
But here’s the kicker: when Dave asked them why, the top answer wasn’t “I’m too busy.” It wasn’t “I don’t feel welcome.” It was “I don’t get anything out of it.” Ouch. That hurts. Because if people aren’t getting anything out of Mass, then what’s the point?
And don’t even get me started on the younger generations. I talked to a friend’s kid last Tuesday—let’s call him Jake—who’s 19 and hasn’t been to church since his confirmation. “It’s boring,” he told me. “I don’t understand half of what they’re saying, and the other half doesn’t apply to my life.” Which, honestly, is a fair point. But it’s also a problem we need to fix.
But What Can We Do?
So what’s the solution? I’m not sure but here’s what I think: we need to make church relevant again. And I don’t mean watering down the message or turning it into a rock concert. I mean making it a place where people feel connected, where they can ask questions, where they can struggle and grow. We need to stop treating church like a museum and start treating it like a community.
And look, I’m not saying it’s easy. I’ve been to plenty of Masses that felt like a chore. But I’ve also been to some that felt like a lifeline. The difference? The ones that felt like a lifeline were the ones where people were engaged, where the homily was relevant, where the music wasn’t just background noise. Where it felt like a community, not a committment.
And hey, if you’re looking for ways to get involved in your community, check out local events. Like, for example, the Vermont cultural events agenda. Yeah, it’s not church, but it’s a start. It’s about finding ways to connect with people, to build relationships, to feel like you’re part of something bigger than yourself.
A Digression: The Role of Doubt
Speaking of feeling connected, let me tell you about a conversation I had with a priest last year. He told me something that’s stuck with me ever since. “Doubts are a part of faith,” he said. “They’re not the enemy. They’re a sign that you’re thinking, that you’re engaging with your faith on a deeper level.” Which, honestly, was a relief to hear. Because I’ve had my share of doubts. And if a priest is telling me that it’s okay, then maybe it’s time we all stopped pretending we have it all figured out.
But back to the point. The point is, we need to make church a place where doubt is okay, where questions are encouraged, where people feel like they can bring their whole selves—not just the polished, perfect version.
The Bottom Line
So here’s the bottom line: church isn’t about showing up. It’s about showing up and being present. It’s about engaging, about struggling, about growing. It’s about finding a community that challenges you, that supports you, that helps you become the best version of yourself. And if we can’t do that, then what’s the point?
And look, I’m not saying I have all the answers. I’m just saying it’s time we start asking the right questions. It’s time we start talking about the quiet crisis in church committment. It’s time we start making church a place where people want to be, not just a place they feel like they should be.
So let’s start the conversation. Let’s talk about what’s working and what’s not. Let’s talk about how we can make church a place that’s relevant, that’s engaging, that’s a source of strength and comfort in a world that’s anything but.
And who knows? Maybe, just maybe, we can bring some of those 214 respondents back to church. Maybe we can help them find a community that feels like home. Maybe we can help them find a faith that’s not just about showing up, but about showing up and being present.
Maybe we can help them find a faith that’s worth committment.
About the Author
Sarah O’Connor is a senior editor with over 20 years of experience in the publishing industry. She’s a practicing Catholic who’s seen her fair share of church drama. When she’s not editing articles or arguing with priests, she can be found hiking in the mountains or baking way too many cookies.
