I’m Mad, and You Should Be Too
It was a Tuesday night, June 15th, 2021, to be exact. I was sitting in the back of St. Mary’s, watching the candles flicker. The place was half-empty. I mean, half-empty for a Tuesday, which is already saying something. I turned to Marcus—let’s call him Marcus, because his name isn’t important here—and I said, “Marcus, what the hell is going on?”
He just shrugged. “People have better things to do, I guess.” Which… yeah. Fair enough. But is that really the whole story?
My Problem with the ‘Better Things to Do’ Excuse
Look, I get it. Life is busy. We’re all running around like headless chickens. But honestly, if we’re talking about committment to faith, shouldn’t that be a priority? I’m not saying people should be at church every single night, but come on. A little more than half-empty on a Tuesday?
I talked to a colleague named Dave about this. He said, “Maybe it’s not about better things to do. Maybe it’s about feeling unwelcome.” And that got me thinking. Are our parishes really as welcoming as they could be? I’m not sure but I think we could do better.
The Role of Community (or Lack Thereof)
Let me tell you about something that happened last Tuesday. I went to a parish in Austin for Mass. The homily was fine, I guess. But after, I stuck around to chat. And you know what? Nobody talked to me. I mean, nobody. I was there for 36 hours—okay, maybe not that long, but it felt like it. I had coffee with a couple of people, but it was like pulling teeth.
Contrast that with my experience at a non-denominational church a few towns over. They had this thing called “coffee hour”—which honestly nobody asked for but here we are—and everyone was chatting it up. It was loud, it was chaotic, but it was alive. And that’s what I want to see in our Catholic parishes.
Trending Topics Popular Discussions: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Now, I’m not saying we should turn every parish into a coffee klatch. But we need to find a balance. And part of that is talking about the things that matter to people. I’m talking about trending topics popular discussions—the stuff that’s on everyone’s mind. Like, why are young people leaving? What can we do to bring them back? And honestly, why does the music have to be so bad?
I get it, tradition is important. But so is reaching people where they are. And if that means talking about things that might make some people uncomfortable, then so be it. We need to have those conversations.
A Tangent: The Music Problem
Speaking of music, let’s talk about that for a second. I was at a parish in Chicago a few months ago, and the music was so bad I wanted to physicaly leave. I mean, it was that bad. And I’m not saying we need to turn every Mass into a rock concert, but come on. Can we at least find a middle ground?
I talked to the music director after Mass—nice guy, by the way—and I said, “Look, I get that you’re trying to be traditional, but this is just not working.” And he said, “Well, what would you suggest?” And I said, “I don’t know, maybe something a little more upbeat? Something that doesn’t sound like it’s from the 1800s?”
And you know what he said? “We’ll see.” Which, honestly, is about as non-committal as it gets.
Back to the Main Point: What Can We Do?
So, what’s the solution? I don’t know. But I think it starts with conversation. We need to talk about why people are leaving, and what we can do to bring them back. We need to talk about how to make our parishes more welcoming, more alive. And we need to talk about the music, because honestly, it’s a problem.
I’m not saying I have all the answers. But I know this: we can’t just keep doing things the way we’ve always done them. Because it’s not working. And if we don’t change, we’re gonna keep seeing those empty pews.
So, let’s start talking. Let’s start making changes. And let’s see if we can’t fill those pews again.
About the Author: Sarah Johnson has been a senior editor for over 20 years, working with major publications on topics of faith, spirituality, and religion. She’s passionate about making faith communities more welcoming and relevant to modern life. When she’s not editing, you can find her at her local parish, trying to convince the music director to liven things up.
